repurpose your nostalgia.
you are just an old man with empty dreams and petty thoughts. people you love have died and will continue to die and you can’t stop it. the earth doesn’t care and neither should you. the comfort of a loving family, the support of rosary beads. i prayed for the first time in years and it did nothing.
will you live long enough to be someone’s everything?
reaching for a ringing phone
and it’s never you.
hug your friends, tell them how much they mean to you. embrace them warmly and love them.
always love them.
let them know that your heart hurts when they are away. they might need to hear it as much as you do.
i can feel the grains against my skin, leaving their impression on my neck. a rope tied tight to a thankless life and all i can do is count the threads.
do not let your life be defined by the box they bury you in
the only pillar between heaven and ground
when i stopped writing, i stopped caring.
or trying. i got older and the words stopped coming. no one else noticed, we all stopped caring.
happy for friends who smile wide.
tan skin stretched tight over bronze bones, begging to be gold.
let her be the cigarette you never put out. let her love fill your lungs and you will always feel like you are enough.
chickpea tuna and quinoa salad
when i count waves i think about dying
i count my teeth when i run my tongue along the jagged pieces sticking out of my gums. i feel fear when i can hear my heart beating, i wonder if the blood in my body is being delivered to the right places and on schedule. i haven’t really been feeling much like myself lately or for a while. i study the brush strokes left behind in commercial buildings, i count ceramic tiles. i count the hair on my arms as it grows in because it keeps me obsessive and occupied; i wish i could do anything to push the bad thoughts out of my mind.
the sun has risen and set nine thousand-six hundred and forty seven times since i have been alive. the thorn in my side is just the passing of time.
this is important (at Westfarms Shopping Plaza)